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January 25, 2005
Road Trip
I have a hard time with directions. Kindly put, I get lost easily. I sometimes get hopelessly turned around in grocery stores; shopping malls are nearly impossible. Therefore, I should’ve anticipated an adventure trying to find my way to the nearest UPS warehouse. And, as you would expect, it was definitely an experience.
I actually made it to the store without too much of a problem (thanks, Mapquest!). When I visited with the clerk, however, he informed me that my package would not be available for pickup until 9:30 (it was a little after 7:30 this morning). “OK,” I thought, “I’ll go get some breakfast, read the campus newspaper, and be back right at 9:30 to receive the materials I MUST have for my 1:00 class.” And my plan worked…partially. I looked at my scribbled directions and knew that if I just did the opposite of the directions, I would end up back at my apartment and near the McDonalds where I anticipated getting my breakfast burrito. Unfortunately, I sometimes also have a problem negating things, and I ended up going the wrong way on a major road, blissfully unaware that I hadn’t passed that way before.
As I drove by the headquarters for Captain D’s and Shoney’s, my initial thought was, “Hmmm. I don’t remember seeing those before.” Of course, I rationalized my surprise by reminding myself that I had been focused on a particular address when I’d gone by before. I drove a little further and passed the Standard Candy Company, which created and produces the southern favorite, the GooGoo Cluster. Again, I told myself that I had just not noticed it before.
After several miles of unfamiliar terrain (and road signs and businesses), I saw the star shining in the sky, the beacon that would lead me home: the Waffle House. I knew that if I could see the Waffle House that was near my apartment, I could find my way home. So I drove toward the Waffle House, fully expecting to end up on road I recognized.
It was then that I realized that there are no fewer than 40,000 Waffle Houses in Nashville. I looked at a road sign and noticed I was on Wanda Street. Wanda Street? I had no idea where Wanda Street was. Even though my atlas and Nashville maps were under my passenger seat, I avoided looking at them; since I don’t know how to read maps, I figured it would just confuse me more.
I kept on driving, turning randomly on streets that I “felt” would lead me to some place I recognized. One road led me down into an area with office buildings…and I recollected that my cousin worked somewhere in one of the complexes. Mind you, I had no idea how to get back to anywhere familiar from there, but at least I was in a vaguely familiar location. So I followed the road until it fed into a major road. I got my bearings again and realized where I was…36.7 miles from my apartment on the only roads I knew (I certainly wasn’t going to try side roads again). I drove the 36.7 miles back to my apartment and then the 6 miles back to the UPS store to retrieve my package. All totaled, the excursion that was only supposed to last about 20 minutes and add only 12 miles to my car ended up lasting over 3 hours and added an undetermined amount of miles driving aimlessly through Nashville industrial areas.
At least I got my UPS package.
Posted by Anna at January 25, 2005 11:06 AM
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Comments
There is a Waffle House on every corner of every street! Oh dear.
I have been lost in Nash. Not pleasant but all because of construction. Sigh!
Posted by: Christopher at January 25, 2005 06:12 PM
I too am a victim of Nashville (a.k.a. Bermuda Triangle). Major highways were closed, roads turned into different roads and went odd directions, it was dark, I was lost, people were mad, and to cope with it all we had an acapela hymn sing in my van full of teenagers.
Posted by: Pressed at January 26, 2005 08:09 AM
I know what you mean about directions... If someone says "right" I will 7 times out of 10 turn left. But it's not my fault the coined left right, is it? :)
Posted by: Flip at January 26, 2005 02:03 PM
the coined left right? what does that mean?
Posted by: Joe at January 27, 2005 03:34 PM
That should have read "they coined..." Oops. That's 50öre to you, Proof. Reader :D
Posted by: Flip at January 28, 2005 03:56 AM
Wimmin ! :)
Posted by: Joe at January 30, 2005 04:19 PM