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January 12, 2005

Rubbed the Wrong Way

This wasn't the entry I intended to be the first "bloggy" kind of post, but something happened to me at the gas station that just needed to be shared:

I visited a local gas station before class today. After filling my tank and paying for my purchase, I got out my antibacterial hand sanitizer (you never know where the previous gas-pumper's hand has been!). I squirted the gel onto my hand...and then realized that, as it inevitably does, the sanitizer had squirted other places. One of those places just happened to be...my left boob. I wasn't sure if the sanitizer would stain (I didn't think it would, but it was also the purple variety so I wasn't sure), so I knew I had to get it off my shirt immediately. I quickly reached down and wiped the glob of goo off my shirt. Much to my chagrin, though, I discovered a wet, discolored patch where the gel had been. I glanced around and saw nobody else pumping gas, so I decided it was safe to do the only method I thought would work: rapid rubbing of the spot. I commenced rubbing frantically, hoping I could dry the goo up before I ended up with a purple blotch on my boob.

I continued rubbing as fast as I could; much to my delight, I saw that my rubbing was working. So I kept rubbing and rubbing my boob. I was rubbing so fast and so hard I could feel the heat forming from the friction. I finished the job (one could barely tell where the incident had occured unless looking specifically at that particular area) and smiled with a sense of satisfaction and relief.

Then I looked up. Remember how I thought the scene was clear before I started fondling my boob and going to "second base" with myself? Well, I was correct when I determined that there were no other customers at the gas station. I didn't, however, consider the people waiting about 10 feet away for the metro bus. My heart sank when I saw a clump of about ten people staring, wide-eyed, at me. Not even a grin or a confused look--only those deer-in-the-headlights stares. They must have thought I was a pervert or an exhibitionist or something!

I shall not be patronizing that particular gas station again. I'm afraid the bystanders took down my license number so they could get another free show the next time I'm there and they're waiting for the bus!

Posted by Anna at January 12, 2005 08:37 PM

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Comments

Posted by: Kendall at January 13, 2005 11:28 AM