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May 31, 2005
May PhotoQuest
As I tend to be with everything, I'm in right under the buzzer. OK, so I procrastinate. Get over it.
Here are my May PhotoQuest items. If you want to learn more, check out Flip's sidebar:
The first task was to photograph a household tool. Unlike a few of the other PhotoQuesters, I don't have a toolbox. I do have a multi-head screwdriver. The six interchangeable tips are just great. Wanna know what makes it even better? I got it for a dollar at the Dollar Tree!
My second task was a grocery bag. The grocery store near me where I usually shop only offers plastic bags. You can see some of the things I purchased last time in their bag!
The third task was to photograph what I would wear when it's a bit chilly outside. Well, I don't wear jackets. I just don't. I avoid coats in the winter as well. So, just so you don't think I'm being lazy in securing my photographs, here is a picture I made for my bulletin board. Oh, and the fine print says "Not a realistic portrayal" and "Real item may vary from illustration." I don't own a sea-foam green jacket. I was just playing with my markers.
I must admit, I don't recycle very much. I should, but I don't. I do, though, save newspapers and then donate them to schools to use in art projects. Here is a box of newspapers that I will pass along to a daycare soon.
Now, let me explain the last picture. I was supposed to take a picture of a playground. My apartment complex doesn't have one, and I wasn't near any other playgrounds that I knew of. There is a small child that lives across the hall, however, that has decided that the hallway is his play area. A few nights ago, he had a crayon. So, here is the evidence that my young neighbor enjoys playing in the hallway:
Posted by Anna at 06:34 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
Back from Break
Hi all,
I took a bit of an unannounced hiatus from blogging. I just really had nothing to blog and didn't have the motivation to blog about it. I try not to be one of those "I'm bored so I'll blog about it" types.
Anywho, I'm back now, so I'll start blogging again soon.
Posted by Anna at 04:57 PM | TrackBack
May 17, 2005
Dri-Weave Heaven
*warning* *warning* *warning* Guys, this may get a little too detailed for you. Read on at your own risk.
I've said before that I have the knack of inventing products for my own use that later appear in the store. Procter & Gamble beat me to the idea this time, though. I was mopping my floors today with my Swiffer WetJet. After I was finished mopping the kitchen and the bathroom (I only have a total of about 12 square feet of tile, so it doesn't take too long), I peeled off the little pad thing to throw it away. Of course, I had to look at it...and discovered something I'd never noticed before: the WetJet pad looked strangely like the Always maxi pad. What with me being the curious type and all, I instantly went to the under-the-sink cabinet (gals, you know "the cabinet") and took a look.
Sure enough, the Swiffer WetJet is only a larger version of Always Ultra Thin, patented Dri-Weave cover and all. Since they're both produced by Procter & Gamble, I guess I shouldn't be surprised...but I was.
This gives me all sorts of new possibilities for further modification in my own life. Maxi pads stuck to the Swiffer for "little" clean-up jobs that don't merit a whole fresh Swiffer pad...or maybe Swiffer pads with the little side guards for those heavy days (I told you men to read at your own risk!)! I mean, girls, this is great! They can be used interchangeably--which means you just buy whichever you have a coupon for!
So the question is...what other uses can you find for the Always pad/Swiffer pad compatibility?
Now if we could just come up with other uses for tampons...
Posted by Anna at 09:35 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack
May 16, 2005
Dear Mr. Homeless Man
Dear Homeless Man who sits at the intersection of I-40 and Broadway,
How do you pay for a cell phone if you can't pay for food?
Yes, I saw you today. You were at your usual spot with your usual cardboard sign wearing your usual blue jeans and green t-shirt. Except today you were chatting on a cell phone. Let me rephrase that: you were laughing on the cell phone.
Is that what you do with the quarters people pass out their window while they're waiting at the stoplight? I'm just wondering. I'm not trying to judge your priorities--laughter is a very important thing. I do think my curiosity is merited, though. How exactly can you afford that cell phone?
Your observer,
White Impala that drives by at 10:00 every morning
Posted by Anna at 04:04 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack
Odd Holiday #12--Sea Monkey Day
Yes, you read that right. It's Sea Monkey Appreciation Day.
What's so sad is that I actually kind of want some. I didn't until I read this site and then discovered that they require less care than even goldfish. Surely I could keep a few sea monkeys alive...
Anyway, if you have some sea monkeys (does anyone? I'd love to know if you do!), go appreciate them. If not, perhaps you can have shrimp for dinner and appreciate them in a much broader sense.
Some fun facts for you about sea monkeys to help you appreciate them:
--They have 3 eyes when they're born
--They can reproduce either sexually or asexually
--They breathe through their feet
There now, aren't you appreciative??
Posted by Anna at 06:20 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
May 15, 2005
That Has Some Bad Connotations, Brandon
I really have nothing to blog. I apologize. Maybe tonight after my viewing of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and the Survivor finale. Sheesh. I have no life.
Something did happen at the elementary school on Thursday, though, that I guess I could share. Be forewarned, though, that, while Brandon was perfectly innocent in the following anecdote, it does have a tasteless connotation that one could interpret. Continue with that in mind.
I was helping Brandon, a third grader, complete his end-of-the-year project on animal habitats. (You know the assignment because you've probably done it yourself: choose a habitat and create a diorama from a shoebox.) The kids were in groups, sharing about their respective habitats. Brandon has some social issues, so my presence was mainly to keep him talking and interacting with his peers
Brandon: My habitat is the grassland.
Me: So tell us, Brandon, what you included in your habitat of the grassland.
Brandon: A bush.
Me: Yep, I see the bush right there. What else?
Brandon: I got a big ol' stump sticking out of my bush.
Me (hoping none of the kids caught that potential sexual innuendo): There's a stump. What else?
Brandon: There's a gazelle there. He's chewing on the stump.
Me: The gazelle is chewing the stump? Why?
Brandon: He used to just eat the bush, but then he found the stump inside and found out that the stump tasted good.
Me: Oh. OK. What else can you tell us?
Brandon: Everything likes to play with my stump. It's buried there somewhere in my bush.
Me: Yeah? What else?
Brandon (still preoccupied with the stump/bush): My bush is just a young bush, but when it gets older, the bush will get bigger. And the stump might even grow back into a tree!
Me: Maybe. Look, here's a zebra! Tell us about why you made a zebra.
Brandon: Because the zebra likes to eat the bush too.
Me: Hmm. OK. Thanks, Brandon. Kenneth, tell me about your habitat.
Kenneth: I got a bush in my world, too. But nothing wants to eat my bush.
*sigh* Kids.
Posted by Anna at 11:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 11, 2005
Move Over, Takeela--
Takeela, you've got competition. I met another kid today who has a name as unfortunate as yours:
Today I met a kid named Mullet. No, that's not a nickname. I asked. His legal name is Mullet.
I don't have a problem with unique names. Naming a child after an 80s haircut, though...well, that pushes the limits.
John Stamos is the only guy I want to see in a mullet!
Posted by Anna at 12:43 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
May 10, 2005
Dear Rob and Amber
Dear Rob and Amber,
HA! I've been waiting all season to say that to you. You had me biting my nails there toward the end, but I'm thrilled you didn't win the Amazing Race. Your 15 minutes of fame are over as soon as your stupid wedding show airs--which I won't be watching. You didn't need to win anything else. Uchenna and Joyce deserved the money a lot more than you did anyway.
And that is all.
Vicariously Vindicated,
Anna
Posted by Anna at 09:58 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
May 07, 2005
Analyze This!
I don't usually remember my dreams...and if I do, I hesitate to share them because of their potential deeper meaning. Here's a dream that I had last night, though. All you pseudoFreuds, analyze this one! I dare you!
I was a camera operator in a TV studio. I was assigned to operate the camera for a show that was similar to America's Next Top Model. Well, it was kind of similar. Actually, it was a show that searched for the dog and dog owner that looked the most alike. Every week, the dog/owner pair would compete in modeling stunts that would accentuate their similarities. Instead of being hosted by Tyra Banks, this show was hosted by "Stacey," a receptionist I recognized from the Student Health Center here on campus. Of course, she also had a dog that looked a great deal like her.
There was no personal conflict in the dream: I merely ran my camera and observed the competition. For each episode, I would record the modeling stunt, ranging from the participants and their pets riding with their faces out of a pickup truck (designed to feature the similarities in wind-blown facial expressions) to the participants and their dogs at a tea party (featuring similarities in table manners). Eventually, the crown in the competition went to an elderly man and his Saint Bernard named Elmer.
So, you dream analysts: what's it mean?
Posted by Anna at 10:21 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
May 04, 2005
My Visit to the Golden Arches
I don't know why I forgot to post this earlier...
I guess my rant about the parking spots led me to forget my original posting.
I went to McDonald's for breakfast. Even though I live in a section of Nashville heavily populated by Spanish speakers, I've not had too much trouble communicating (note: I speak very little Spanish). I've been to the McDonalds near my apartment many times and never faced a language barrier, but there must have been several Spanish speakers through the Drive-Thru that morning. Either that, or they just simply felt like sticking their Spanish speaking worker on the drive-thru line. When I pulled up to place my order, I heard something like this:
Her: "Hola. Bienvenido mumble, mumble, McDonalds, mumble mumble. Que mumble?"
Me: "Ur, ug, hmmm, uno, um, dos breakfast burritos, um, and, um, grande agua."
Her: "Mumble, mumble, two, mumble, breakfast burrito, mumble, large water. Mumble, mumble?"
Me: (not sure at this point if she's speaking in Spanish or just the garbled English that comes out of those speakers) "Um, yeah, right. Si. Correcto (just made that word up). Thanks. Gracias."
Her: De nada.
Sheesh. I should've taken Spanish instead of German
in high school. A lot of good Guten Tag has done me
here...
Posted by Anna at 04:05 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
To My Friend in Parking Lot 78
Just a note to the soul who squeezed his Lincoln Continental into a parking space designated for compact cars:
Your car is not compact. Neither is the minivan belonging to the putz-head who wedged his auto into the neighboring compact space. Because of your insensitivity, the owner of a Honda Civic drove by and flipped you off. I know because I walked by at the precise moment of the driver's irritation. Just be glad the driver wasn't prone to road rage.
Now, I recognize your desire to park closer to campus. I, too, have the same yearning. Please notice, though, that I avoided cramming my Chevy Impala into the remaining compact car space--not that it would have fit anyway. The passenger side of the minivan was taking up half of the last space. I'm going to be considerate--I'm sure a VW Beetle will drive by at some point today, and I don't want to be the recipient of anger. Frankly, I don't want my car keyed by a vengeful compact car owner.
Please be kind to your fellow parkers.
Posted by Anna at 10:29 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
May 03, 2005
Oooo, Poop!
OK, I'll admit it--I'm not a fan of Oprah Winfrey. Yes, she got her start in Nashville, yes, she's an attractive woman, and yes, she does run a mega-successful corporation. I've just never really watched her.
But today, Oprah went to a level I never thought she would: poop.
I flipped through the channels and I had to stop. Oprah's topic today was on healthy poop.
I've not laughed so hard (nor learned so much about colon health) than I have today.
I kept trying to visualize the topic on any other talk show and, well, I couldn't.
Dr. Phil wouldn't talk about poop.
Ellen DeGeneres wouldn't talk about poop.
Tony Danza wouldn't talk about poop.
Sally Jesse Raphael wouldn't talk about poop.
Rosie O'Donnell might talk about poop, but I don't think she ever did.
Leave it to Oprah to touch the untouchable (which, by the way, she handled a real colon on TV today!).
I have all sorts of poop jokes going through my head (elementary teachers usually do!), and I even own several books about poop (always a popular topic in a preschool classroom!). But good ol' Oprah made a show about it.
I'm restraining myself from all the poop-isms I could've worked into this entry. I never know who's reading this...
*Update! Update! Update!* Per Christopher's request for further information, I will leave you with this: 'S'-shaped or banana shape=good; pebbles=bad. And just for the Complimenting Commentor: The show was just a load of crap! Seriously, it stank. Bad. My main thought was "Oh, &*@#. Oprah's on!" :)
Posted by Anna at 04:15 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
May 02, 2005
Botanical Wish in 4 Lines
Dear pink blossoms nestled in my pot,
With Miracle-Gro maybe you'll thrive.
But an esteemed horticulturalist I am not,
So just please, oh please, survive!
I'm not much of a gardener. Matter of fact, plants seem to wither immediately when sensing my presence. But I'm trying yet again to keep a plant alive.
Flowers, day 1:
I'll try to keep you posted. My guess is that the photograph I take in a few days will look significantly less green and much more brown. We shall see, though. I'm sure you can't wait.
Posted by Anna at 03:22 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack