« Apologies to Brown Shirt Boy | Main | Birthday Wish-List »
October 21, 2005
Don't Get Your Panties in a Knot!
I've always liked the phrase, "Don't get your panties in a knot," which, I believe, roughly translates to, "Calm down."
Last night, though, I did find myself with my panties in a knot--literally.
I was dog-sitting. As I usually do when I'm house-sitting, I took over my laundry (it saves money for me and also saves me from a trip to the scary laundromat). I threw in a load of what I thought was just jeans and t-shirts.
When I went back to transfer everything to the dryer, I discovered that I could not lift any of my clothes out; they seemed to be glued to the agitator by some sort of invisible suction. I tugged...and tugged...and tugged. After an unnerving ripping sound, one pair of jeans was released from the centrifugal force within the washer. I then got a good look at what was pinning my clothes against the agitator: a lone pair of purple panties.
It seems that somehow a pair of my underwear slipped into the washer along with my jeans. Based on my limited scientific knowledge, here's what I think happened. The spinning had sucked my clothes against the agitator, then my skivvies got skewered on the agitator and ended up getting woven around my clothes. One of the seams tore at some point, because I think the ends then somehow wrapped themselves in and out of the little support things at the bottom of the agitator and ended up knotting up, essentially gluing my load of clothes to the agitator.
Even though I had discovered my problem, I still didn't have a solution to freeing my clothes that were being held hostage by a pair of torn and knotted purple panties. Without many other options, I was left to painstakingly unweave the clothes from my unmentionables, one item at a time. Finally, I got all the clothes out and was left to examine my ruined undies.
My underwear was stretched and twisted into a long rope, knotted several times, and torn beyond recognition.
After I removed the undies from their place of death, I then had another dilemma: what to do with the underwear? Since I'm at my boss's house, dare I put them in the trash can and risk him seeing them when he gets home later today? Do I wrap them in a Wal-Mart bag and take the bag outside to the trash bin and pray he doesn't wonder what the unusual Wal-Mart bag is doing in his bin when it was completely empty yesterday? Do I put them, wet, torn, and knotted, into my overnight bag and leave them there while I spend all day at work?
I wish I could describe it better, because it was definitely a sight to see. I wanted to take a picture but I didn't have my camera...and I'm not sure I want my mangled underwear displayed for all to see anyway! So...the best I can give you is a generic washing machine photo without any purple underwear:
Posted by Anna at October 21, 2005 11:31 AM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.craniumleakage.com/cms/mt-tb.cgi/2741
Comments
OK, so what are you going to do to explain, "Running around like a chicken with it's head cut off?" Maybe I shouldn't ask.
Posted by: cube at October 21, 2005 11:45 AM
Wow, it never ceases to amaze me at the trouble you tend to find yourself in. The torn, mangled panites of death... amazing. :)
Posted by: Pressed at October 21, 2005 02:23 PM
that happened to me one time. it was a terrible day.
Posted by: lisa at October 21, 2005 02:59 PM
Sounds like something from a Seinfeld episode!
Posted by: The Phoenix at October 21, 2005 09:13 PM
Those sound like some incredibly strong panties- perhaps you should save them for bungie chord maneuvers or some sort of sling shot for small mammals.
Posted by: Yolanda at October 22, 2005 09:34 PM
The return of the smilies!
I found them. 
Posted by: Christopher at October 22, 2005 09:43 PM
That event would be so terrible to me, as I love my undies almost as much as my family...maybe even more than my brother. Tee hee! Thanks for the laughs, Anna!
Posted by: Kendall at October 24, 2005 03:16 PM