December 17, 2005
Advice from the Bean-Eater
Woe is the woman who converts a high-fiber side dish into a main dish...and then has two big helpings plus some corn on the cob.
Shame on me for gorging myself on baked beans. My poor colon doesn't know what to do with the sudden intake of fiber.
I wouldn't have had oatmeal with bananas this morning or had popcorn for a snack if if I'd anticipated craving beans this evening. Too much unannounced fiber is wreaking havoc on my insides.
Sheesh. I'm sure it's good to clean out the ol' intestines every now and then...but is there any way besides this? And what causes one to crave beans of all things anyway??
*rumbling from deep within* Ugh. Excuse me. I think I need to skip to my loo.
Posted by Anna at 08:38 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
December 12, 2005
Spongy Misunderstanding
I get a thrill out of coupons. Even if I don’t really need the item I’m buying, I always feel justified buying it if I have a coupon. Tonight I was at Wal-Mart looking for the Scotch-Brite kitchen sponges (I needed some, and I was going to save 35 cents!). I don’t believe I’ve purchased sponges before at that particular store, and they weren’t in the location that seemed the most logical. I sought out a blue-vested Wal-Mart associate for assistance. There weren’t any workers in the housewares section, so I targeted a friendly looking middle-aged woman named Loretta. Following is my conversation with Loretta:
Me: Excuse me (pausing to look at nametag), Loretta.
Loretta: Yeah?
Me: I’m looking for sponges. Do you know where I could find them?
Loretta: You want the plain kind or the kind with the gunk in ‘em?
Me: Well, I guess whatever is closest. I do like the kind with the antibacterial stuff already in it, but it doesn’t really matter. I don’t mind using the antibacterial stuff along with them.
Loretta: Antibacterial? Well, you’ll have to use somethin’ different. The FDA banned those antibacterial kind. We don’t carry the antibacterial sponges any more. Walgreen’s does, though.
Me: The FDA banned antibacterial sponges? Really? Well, I don’t want to go to Walgreen’s--they’re not that important to me. How about the plain ones? Where are those?
Loretta: Go that way *pointing the opposite way from housewares* and ask someone over there. That ain’t my department.
Me: Um, that’s the pharmacy. Are you sure the sponges aren’t over by the kitchen cleaners?
Loretta: No, child. The sponges with the antibacterial kind were recalled, but the plain ones is over in the pharmacy.
Me: Um, I’m not sure I’m communicating effectively. Thanks for your help, but I’ll just keep looking for someone in housewares.
Loretta: Hang on, girl. What kind of sponges you after? I thought you wanted the antibacterial kind.
Me: Well, I do, but, see, I have a coupon for the Scotch-Brite kind, so I was going to get some of those. Or whatever is cheapest. I don’t really care anymore.
Loretta: OH! You mean you need KITCHEN sponges!?! I thought you needed birth control! Why you need the antibacterial sponges if you're cleanin' your kitchen?
It was at that moment that I realized our misunderstanding. Loretta thought I was looking for contraception. She confused the word “antibacterial” with “spermicidal.”
Sheesh. Poor woman. She must’ve thought I was really desperate because I was getting so impatient with her! I keep thinking that maybe I did something to mislead her, but I checked myself. I was not dressed like a floozy, hanging on the arm of a rugged gentleman, or filling my cart with lingerie. I mean, I was in HOUSEWARES, for pete’s sake! I really don’t think I’m the one at fault here!
So, Loretta, if you’re reading this, I recommend you educate yourself a little more thoroughly on the differences between the varieties of sponges you carry in your store. It may have been an honest mistake (maybe?), but please don’t let it happen again. I think I’m still blushing from the whole experience.
And wouldn’t you know, I forgot to get those dang sponges after all?!?!
Posted by Anna at 07:10 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
December 02, 2005
Bellringer Blues
The past two days, I have tried twice to deposit some change in the Salvation Army Bellringer's bucket. Twice. And the attempt has been futile both times.
Both times I walked up to the store, said hello to the bellringer, and said that I'd be right out with some money for them. Both times I did my shopping and left clutching a few dollars in my little fist. Both times I came out of the exit, only to find the bellringers having finished their shift. The only evidence they were there was a sign that said Support the Salvation Army. And I was only in the store for five minutes each time!!
So I'm two for two. Do you think it's a sign that maybe I'm not supposed to be giving to charity??
In other randomness, my local Kroger (not to be confused with the experiences from my former Kroger) is remodeling. While I appreciate the future upgrades, the employees do need some guidance in proper store arrangement. Tonight the PastaRoni was right next to the Summer's Eve feminine deodorant spray (link intentionally omitted--you can find it yourself!). Now really...who wants to shop for side dishes and personal cleansing products in such close proximity??
Posted by Anna at 05:26 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
As If I Needed a Reason...
Just in case I needed a good reason to watch The Bachelor this season, now I have one.
An ER doctor from Vanderbilt's Medical Center is this season's bachelor.
I don't know Travis Stork (I've been lucky enough to avoid the emergency room, though I did sit in the waiting room to get my ankle x-rayed earlier this year), but he looks pretty hunky in his pictures.
Would it be considered stalking if I looked him up in the campus directory and called him? Or sent him something through campus mail? Or I bet I could send him an email--the system wouldn't label it as spam if it came from my campus address...
Maybe I could somehow twist that ankle again and earn a trip over to the ER. Nah...that might be a bit too conspicuous. Plus, knowing my luck, I'd end up with some scary doctor instead.
If you want to know more, you can read the article in one of the campus newspapers:
http://www.vanderbilthustler.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2005/12/01/438e1524cbd63
Posted by Anna at 02:42 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack