Inkblots

October 31, 2005

Knock-Knockin'

OK, so we all know it's Halloween. But did you know that it's also National Knock Knock Joke Day? Unfortunately, it's not as easy or as much fun to tell a knock knock joke by yourself, but since this is a one-writer blog, I'll do the best I can. In honor of today:

Knock knock!
Who's there?
General Lee.
General Lee who?
General Lee I don't tell knock knock jokes, but I couldn't resist sharing some on National Knock Knock Day.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sarah.
Sarah who?
Sarah reason you're not laughing at my stupidity?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Albie.
Albie who?
Albie durn, this is stupider than I thought.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Dismay.
Dismay who?
Dismay not be as funny of a post as I'd wanted, OK? Get over it!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna body know of any better knock knock jokes than me?

Please share some better jokes so I can restore the dignified knock knock holiday to its intended splendor!

(I actually had a knock knock Halloween related cartoon, but the flashing punkins make me giggle every time!)

Posted by Anna at 01:37 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

September 06, 2005

Why Do It Now If I Can Do It Later?

I was going to tell you early this morning that today is National Fight Procrastination Day, otherwise known as "Do-It Day" (tee-hee!).

Obviously, I procrastinated in telling you that, as it's 3:00 in the afternoon and I'm just now telling you about the holiday.

Sorry. I've never been one to do things in advance...

As my pal Ellen Degeneres says, "Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off!"

I like Ellen's philosophy. I should write her a letter...maybe I'll get my picture shown on the Looky-Loo.

Nah...I'll do it later.

Posted by Anna at 02:50 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

September 01, 2005

Odd Holidays--One Hot Chicken

Let me be the first to wish my pal Chicken Boy a very happy birthday! Yes, today, September 1st, is Chicken Boy's birthday.

Who is Chicken Boy, you might ask? Well, check out his official website!

Still needing more? Blue Mountain cards has this e-card available for free! I dare you to send the card to your coworkers!

Mmmm. Chicken. Must have McNuggets now. *licking slobbery drool off lips and looking for car keys*

Posted by Anna at 12:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 16, 2005

Odd Holiday--Hollerin' Day

As my pal Joe so kindly reminded me, I've been neglecting my duties to keep my readers informed of all the weird holidays out there.

Joe brought it to my attention that today is National Hollerin' Contest Day.

Now, a hollerin' contest might seem a little pointless. But let me tell you, some of the mothers of the kids I had in my class would start their hollerin' in the car when they picked up their kids and I could hear them in the building. Hollering is quite an art (everyone can do it, but it takes practice to do it righ!), and now there is an official Hollering Contest.

Thanks, Joe, for letting me know about this weird holiday!

I tried to find a hillbilly hollering (I'm from the Ozarks so I can say that without being prejudiced), but this is all I could do on short notice...

Posted by Anna at 07:14 PM | TrackBack

June 03, 2005

Odd Holiday--Donut Day

Today is Donut Day. It's a real holiday and actually has roots going back to before World War II. Thanks, Christopher, for telling me about this one.

To celebrate, Krispy Kreme is giving away a free donut to every customer! Too bad I don't know where the nearest Krispy Kreme is from me.

Picture found here.

Posted by Anna at 04:51 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 16, 2005

Odd Holiday #12--Sea Monkey Day

Yes, you read that right. It's Sea Monkey Appreciation Day.

What's so sad is that I actually kind of want some. I didn't until I read this site and then discovered that they require less care than even goldfish. Surely I could keep a few sea monkeys alive...

Anyway, if you have some sea monkeys (does anyone? I'd love to know if you do!), go appreciate them. If not, perhaps you can have shrimp for dinner and appreciate them in a much broader sense.

Some fun facts for you about sea monkeys to help you appreciate them:
--They have 3 eyes when they're born
--They can reproduce either sexually or asexually
--They breathe through their feet

There now, aren't you appreciative??

Posted by Anna at 06:20 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

March 28, 2005

Odd Holiday #11--A Boy Named Sue

Durn--I missed yesterday's odd holiday because of the Easter festivities. That's OK, I guess...I'd rather celebrate Easter anyway.
But yesterday's odd holiday: Quirky Country Music Song Day.

You'd think that living in Nashville I'd have a bunch of these. But since I'm just a recent transplant, I really don't have any. So can anyone help me out? Got any quirky country music song titles??

Posted by Anna at 12:22 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 25, 2005

Odd Holidays #10--Pee-can Pie

Today is "National Celebrate Pecans" day.

So the burning question: is it pronounced peh-cahn or pee-can?

Last night, I was watching "Blue Collar TV." *blush* When one only has 5 channels, one's TV viewing is limited.

The show stars Jeff Foxworthy and basically pokes fun at rednecks. My favorite part is when they spotlight a word in the dictionary and then use it in redneck dialect.

Last night's word was pecan (how appropriate to the holiday!). Their demonstration was 2 men driving in a truck and one really needs to go to the bathroom. The driver grabs a can of Pringles and opens it, tosses the chips out the window, and then says, "Here's your pee-can." Cracked me up.

Anyway, go make some pee-can pie and think of Inkblots when you do.

Posted by Anna at 08:30 AM | TrackBack

March 21, 2005

Odd Holiday #9--Brain Fart??

Today is Memory Day. Can you remember that?

Go read Mem Fox's Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge.

Better yet, go here and have Bradley Whitford from "The West Wing" read it to you. Just scroll through the left column until you come to the book.

Warning! Warning! Warning! Elementary teachers, you will find this site fascinating and will probably want to use it in your elementary classroom. Just don't say I didn't warn you!!

So in honor of memory day, I'm going to ask you a question that I remember my Child Development professor asked us in undergraduate school: What's your first childhood memory?

Posted by Anna at 05:01 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

March 16, 2005

Odd Holiday #8--Lip Lovin'

Who knew my favorite singing vegetables sang about a holiday besides traditional ones?

It's "I Love My Lips" day. Who would've guessed?

In honor of Larry the Cucumber's love of his lips, I'm pasting in his song to help you celebrate "I Love My Lips" Day. Picture a cucumber on a psychiatrist's leather couch, singing about his lip woes. I also like it because Dr. Archibald gives Larry the inkblots test, which, of course, I like because of my blog name. Are you visualizing? Here we go:

Larry:
If my lips ever left my mouth,
Packed a bag and headed south,
That'd be too bad, I'd be so sad.

Dr. Archibald:
I see, that'd be too bad, you'd be so sad?

Larry:
That'd be too bad.

Dr. Archibald:
Alrighty.

Larry:
If my lips said "Adios,
I don't like you, I think you're gross."
That'd be too bad, I might get mad.

Dr. Archibald:
Hm, that'd be too bad, you might get mad?

Larry:
That'd be too bad.

Dr. Archibald:
Fascinating.

Larry:
If my lips moved to Duluth
Left a mess and took my tooth.
That'd be too bad, I'd call my Dad.

Dr. Archibald:
Oh dear, that'd be too bad, you'd call your dad?

Larry:
That'd be too bad.

Dr. Archibald:
Hold it. Did you say your father? Facinating!
So what you're saying is if your lips left you?

Larry:
That'd be too bad, I'd be so sad.
I might get mad, I call my Dad.
That'd be too bad.

Dr. Archibald:
That'd be too bad?

Larry:
That'd be too bad.

Dr. Archibald:
Why?

Larry:
Because I love my lips. (makes noises in tune with his lips)

Dr. Archibald:
Oh my! This is more serious than I thought.
Larry, what do you see here? (showing inkblot)

Larry:
Um, that looks like a lip.

Dr. Archibald:
What about this?

Larry:
It's a lip.

Dr. Archibald:
And this?

Larry (to tune of "William Tell Overture":
It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip
It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip
It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip
It's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip.

Dr. Archibald:
Larry, tell me about your childhood.

Larry:
When I was just two years old,
I left my lips out in the cold.
And they turned blue,
What could I do?

Dr. Archibald:
Oh dear. They turned blue,
What could you do?

Larry:
Oh, They turned blue.

Dr. Archibald:
I see.

Larry:
On the day I got my tooth,
I had to kiss my Great Aunt Ruth.
She had a beard and it felt weird.

Dr. Archibald:
My, my, she had a beard
And it felt weird?

Larry:
She had a beard.

Dr. Archibald:
Oh!

Larry:
Ten days after I turned 8,
Got my lips stuck in a gate
My friends all laughed...

And I just stood there until the fire department came
and broke the lock with a crowbar and I had to spend
the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar
who got stung by a bee right on the lip and we couldn't
even talk to each other until the fifth week because both
our lips were so swollen and when he did start speaking
he just spoke polish and I only knew like three words in polish

except now I know four because Oscar taught me the
word for lip, "Usta".

Dr. Archibald:
Your friends all laughed. Usta. How do you spell that?

Larry:
I don't know.

Dr. Archibald:
So what you're saying is that when you were young?

Larry:
They turned blue, what could I do?
She had a beard, and it felt weird.
My friends all laughed, usta.

Dr. Archibald:
I'm confused.

Larry:
I love my lips!

Posted by Anna at 02:18 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

March 10, 2005

Odd Holiday #7--What's Your Name?

Today is "National Wear a Nametag" day.

I plan to--it's my day at the elementary school and I have to wear one anyway. But I do encourage you to celebrate as you see fit, nametag and all.

Posted by Anna at 06:30 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 17, 2005

Odd Holiday #6--Because I Have Nothing Else to Post

Today was my day at the elementary school, and I always have interesting stories to tell. But today I've got nothin'--a lot of the kids were gone and I was just so bloomin' tired I didn't really listen for interesting quotes or watch for funny happenings.

So, since I have nothing better to post, I will merely mention today's weird holiday: "Who Shall I Be? Day."

I don't know much about it. I just know that it's a holiday to define and celebrate one's identity.

Great. That whole identity thing again. Some of us are still struggling with that...

And that's about it. Tonight is the premiere of the new season of Survivor, and then another episode of The Apprentice.

If I honestly had nothing else to do, I might feel guilty for watching these when there are no doubt better shows I could be watching. But since I've had a busy week (but when am I NOT busy??), I think I deserve a night of reality TV. Don'tcha think?

Posted by Anna at 06:18 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 13, 2005

Odd Holidays #5--I Am, Thank You

Today is "Satisfied Staying Single" Day. I guess it's sort of an anti-Valentines thing...or else it's actually supposed to be sarcastic and poking fun at single people. Either way, I am satisfied staying single, thank you very much.

This cartoon isn't REALLY the way I feel, but I think it kind of fits with my lifestyle in grad school:

Posted by Anna at 04:53 PM | TrackBack

February 05, 2005

Odd Holidays #4--Give My Regards to Broadway...or Lebanon, Pennsylvania

Today is national "Move Hollywood and Broadway to Lebanon, Pennsylvania" Day.

That's all I think I need to say about that.

Posted by Anna at 06:00 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

January 27, 2005

Odd Holidays #3--Skip To My Loo

Grab a plunger and give a courtesy flush...because it's Thomas Crapper Day! Yep, Thomas Crapper, the man who invented one the most beloved (and appreciated) household objects. After all, I guess we'd be in a world of hurt if he hadn't worked so hard to invent something that took care of...well, you know.

Wow. There's really something to be said about the power of suggestion. Excuse me while I skip to my loo...

I got this image from Toilet Museum. Yes, you read that correctly.

Posted by Anna at 06:00 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 21, 2005

Odd Holidays #2--Revisiting the Rodent Springboard

'Tis a sad day for squirrel haters. Yes, today is Squirrel Appreciation Day.

Bluntly put, I don't appreciate squirrels. For a reminder why I hate them, check out a post I made on WIT's blog:

And that's all I'm going to say about that. I shall be neither celebrating nor appreciating.

I got this picture at a politician's website. Apparently he does appreciate squirrels. Wonder if he knows it's a holiday...

Posted by Anna at 08:52 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

January 15, 2005

Odd Holidays #1

It is just amazing to me to read some of the weird topics people designate for celebration. Therefore, I am beginning a category about odd holidays. And so, as an entrance into this category, may I present to you today's odd holiday...Penguin Awareness Day.

Please realize that today is merely "awareness" day. It is not to be confused with "Penguin Appreciation Day," "Sponsor a Penguin Day," or "Dress Like a Penguin Day." I shall try to inform you of those days so you can celebrate accordingly.

So there. I've made you aware of penguins. Now that you're aware of them, go celebrate! I dare you to wish someone a Happy Penguin Awareness Day.

UPDATE: I got this picture from an unauthorized link. Here's the site of this gorgeous baby's father. Baby is named Emely Sophie. What a cutie.

Posted by Anna at 11:36 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack